comedy piece- revised. Christmas trees are magical

“Christmas Trees are Magical”

 
 


"Hey girls, who wants to come to the Christmas Tree Lighting?"  "I do! I do! I do!"  Miriam’s friends exclaimed. For an Orthodox Jewish girl from Florida, going to the Christmas tree lighting, a celebration of other peoples’ religion is not something she was taught to do growing up, but who cares Britney Spears was giving a free concert, Coincidentally her friend Dovi, also an orthodox Jew texted her asking if she wanted to go. As a recent seminary girl with the sparkle of religion in her eyes, she thought that this must not be coincidence, and that for some reason, god must want her to go to this “goyish” (non-Jewish) event.  Miriam explained to Dovi that she was already had a bunch of girls that she was going with, but that Dovi should bring some of his better looking male friends and meet the girls there.

Dovi wasn’t very sure what to do, he had told Miriam that he had several male friends that were interested in going to the lighting, but the truth was that he did not know anyone, and only said that as an excuse to get into Miriam’s pants later on in the evening. He knew that he would need to find people to go, or else he would be in jeopardy of looking like an idiot. Dovi then decides to call his friend Elli. Elli had a past of doing random things that were stupid and inconsistent with his belief system. On the second ring Elli picks up the phone and answers “Hello” in his nonchalant voice. Dovi explains that he would like to invite Elli to be his guests for the Christmas Tree Lighting in Rockefeller Center. Elli has interest in going, but his roommate had been in a very somber mood lately, and he decided to try and get him out of the house. He told Dovi that he would go if he could convince his roommate to come with him.

Expecting a long argument, Elli goes into the living room where Reuven is drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels. This is a new low for Reuven, both Elli and his roommate were heavy drinkers, however they both made it a point to only drink single malt scotch (regardless how much it put them into debt).  Seeing Reuven drinking that crap, Elli knew that he was going to be in for a long argument. He says, “Reuven, before you say no, I want you to think about this for a minute, and stop drinking that crap it’s not good for you” as Elli pours himself and Reuven two nice glasses of fine Maccallan Scotch. He continues, “What are we up to tonight?” “Watching the Victoria Secret Fashion Show of course’” Reuven replies. Elli had forgotten that the beautiful woman prancing around in very little clothes were on that night, and wasn’t so sure that he wanted to go out any more either. After some quick mental math Elli responded, “ Nope we are not watching it live, we are going to DVR it and go to the Christmas Tree Lighting in Rockefeller center.” Reuven looks up, “wait, isn’t Britney supposed to perform?” After finding out that she was, it was decided, Elli and Reuven were going to see Britney Spears, or rather the Christmas Tree Lighting in Rockefeller Center and then end the night getting drunk and watching Super Models dance around half naked on their big screen TV.

Miriam was quite frustrated; she had been waiting in line for two hours trying to get into the area where the lighting was taking place. Miriam and her friends had not gotten to there as early as they wanted. They all had class at 6:15 and couldn’t get to Rockefeller center until a bit later.  After deciding that there were just too many people and there was no way they were going to see it, they decided to just roam the area. Naturally, Miriam and her friends did want to let the guys know that they got there too late and missed it, so Miriam waited a few hours and then texted Dovi asking him where he wanted to meet. Dovi responded. "Lets meet at Starbucks". She thinks to herself, what an idiot, there are a million Starbucks in New York City. Miriam texts him back, "Which one? There are millions between here and Brookdale!" Dovi replies. “Any of them. Ask your friends to pick one." At this point, Miriam is very frustrated, she had an extremely stressful day, and the last thing she wanted to do was make another decision. After debating whether or not she wants to blow it off, she texts Dovi back, “how about Time Square.” On their way to Starbucks, Miriam’s fat friend exclaims, “I’m hungry” so the girls decide to grab a snack (or a full course meal in one of the girls cases) and arrive at Dale and Thomas Popcorn.

            The two boys (Elli and Reuven) were trying to get into the Christmas tree lighting as well. They were talking to a bunch of girls when Reuven’s phone rang.

Reuven says, “I’ll be right back, I have to take this phone call”. Elli continued to talk to the girls. After a few minutes one of the girls said, “do you guys want to back to our hotel with us? We are obviously not getting in here”. Elli replies, “I have to wait for my friend and then we are supposed to meet my other friend after. We will catch up with you guys later”.  Reuven returns. Elli told him that the girls invited them back to the hotel and said no. Reuven starts to yell,  “Elli, how could you say no to them? Why would you do that?” Elli answers,  “I don’t know! I know we are supposed to meet Dovi and I feel bad not meeting him”. Reuven replies, “that’s it. You ruined Christmas Elli”.

Miriam texts Dovi and notifies him that they were going to Dale and Thomas Popcorn. She and her friends walk in and there is Dovi. He was with two other guys. After a few minutes Miriam’s friends say, "it's getting late and there is nothing to do in Times Square at 8:30 pm on a Wednesday night". “Well I promised Dovi I’d hang out with him so I think I’m going to stay”. Friends: “are you sure? How will you get back?” Miriam: don’t worry. I’ll figure it out. I’ll take a cab if nothing else”. Friends: okay, have a good night. We’ll see you tomorrow.

After talking to Dovi for a few minutes he says, “ I have to go meet my brother on the upper west side, bye”. And just took off. Miriam stood there looking like an idiot. She didn’t know what to do next. Why did he ditch me? She thought. What was she supposed to do now? It was just Miriam and two other guys. She didn’t know them and she started to feel nervous. Then the two guys introduced themselves. They were roommates. The two boys decided to invite Miriam to come back to their apartment in Washington Heights to watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show with them. They thought it would be fun. Miriam did not want to go to Washington Heights at that hour and watch The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show with two guys she barely knew. It sounded very awkward so she said no thank you. Reuven said, “Well she can’t walk home by herself”. Elli answered, “Well I guess we could walk her”. Miriam replied,“ Thanks, you guys can take the shuttle from Brookdale after”. They walked her back to the dorm. The three of us were getting along so well that we walked passed 34^th street. It’s a good thing she noticed that they passed her street at 33^rd street. They turned around and walked into the lobby. It was 9:30 and the next shuttle wasn’t until 10:15. They hung out in the lounge and Miriam got to know Elli and Reuven. Elli mentioned that he had an apartment in Washington Heights. He did not live in the dorms. This excited her because if he lived in the dorms she would not be allowed in his room. Those are the rules of going to YU and Stern, members of the opposite gender are not allowed in each other’s rooms. That’s partially why the boys’ school (YU) is in Washington Heights and the girls’ school (Stern) is in Midtown.

The YU play was happening that weekend and it was Newsies. Miriam love Newsies! She even did it in Hebrew one summer in camp. Elli mentioned that he could get extra tickets for Sunday nights showing if she wanted to go. She already had tickets but said maybe because she really wouldn’t mind seeing it twice.

Once they left, she ran upstairs to friend Elli on Facebook. I usually wait for the boys to friend me her Facebook, but she managed to meet three different Elli’s in the past 3 weeks and they all spelled their names differently. And the rest is history. We are still together 3 and a half years later and haven’t been back to the tree lighting since.